2011-02-09T01:53:00.000-08:00

7 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

Research in psychology and sociology continues to affirm the Church’s timeless teaching. Thus, we offer the following suggestions based on scientific data and clinical wisdom:

Avoid cohabitation prior to marriage. Although about 50-80% of couples do it, research says they are 40-85% more likely to get divorced than those who don’t. (Bumpas & Sweet, 1995; Hall & Zhao, 1995; Bracher, Santow, Morgan & Russell, 1993; DeMaris & Rao, 1992, and Glen, 1990).

Practice pre-marital and marital chastity. Couples who wait until after marriage to have sex are 29-47% more likely to enjoy sex during marriage, according to a study by Hering (1994). After the wedding, be faithful to your spouse. Major hurt and disruption to relationships is often caused by extramarital affairs, viewing of pornography, and “emotional affairs” (in which one spouse invests him/herself emotionally in someone else, rationalizing the relationship because it is not a sexual one). While marriages in which these things happen usually are troubled prior to the affair, unfaithfulness can push the relationship to the breaking point, causing lasting wounds that may not heal.

Keep the faith! According to University of Wisconsin researcher Larry Bumpass, couples who attend church weekly are 35% less likely to divorce. In addition, according to a 1999 study by the Barna Research group, the divorce rate for Catholics is only 21% -- tied with Lutherans for the lowest rate among all Christian groups, and far lower than the national average.

Spend time together in prayer. Pope John Paul II, in his Letter to Families, writes, “Prayer increases the strength and spiritual unity of the family, helping the family to partake of God's own ‘strength’” (4).

Sociologist Andrew Greely, in a 1991 study, found that only 1% of married couples who pray together regularly and report a high quality sexual relationship think that divorce is even possible for them.

Practice Natural Family Planning. A Michigan State University study (Tortorici, 1979) showed higher levels of marital satisfaction among couples who use NFP versus other methods of family planning, and some studies (e.g., Aquilar, 1980) have indicated that the rate of divorce for couples who practice NFP may be as low

as 0.6%.

When you have a conflict, talk about it! A healthy marriage is not one that is free of conflict. In fact, researchers have found no relationship between the number or frequency of disagreements and marital dissatisfaction. Some happy couples have lots of conflicts, and some unhappy ones have very few. What makes the difference between happy and unhappy couples is how conflicts are resolved once they occur. By using sensitive, healthy communication skills, a couple can work through conflicts and make their marriage stronger.

Practice empathy and forgiveness. When you are angry or dismayed by what your spouse is doing or saying, try to imagine yourself in his or her shoes. Work towards forgiveness and trust when hurts occur. Grudges can devastate a marriage, but choosing to let go of angry feelings gives us the freedom to go on.

Being your husbands concubine

2011-02-05T02:05:00.000-08:00

The aim of this article is not to promote a gender at the expense of another but to look for ways to assist us build the most desirable homes and ultimately nation and the world.

A microwave solution to marital issues is not the best way out, only if we humble ourselves enough to unlearn and relearn time tested principles of building a desirable marriage then we shall all reap the benefits.

Many women complain of their spouse running after the women outside without trying to examine the difference between a wife and a concubine. For the 21^st century woman to keep a marriage it wouldn’t be sufficient to be your husband’s wife, you must also be his concubine.

Take dressing for an occasion as an example, a wife dresses for the occasion while a concubine dresses to attract the man. I don’t subscribe to married women dressing seductively outside (Except if it is to seduce your man at home) but if your spouse begins to ask you to wear skimpy wears at home, my advice to you would be to obey your husband. I am aware of religious sentiments and believe me am very religious too but the fact is a woman first duty is to satisfy the man’s need and doing what he wants. Believe me no man who loves his wife would want her private parts to be shown to the public but if he is saying he wants you to bare all at home then you must pay attention to what he is saying.

Men are visually stimulated so he might want you to set the tone or set him on fire by what you put on at home. The truth many women don’t seem to understand and which your man may never tell you is that men don’t like women who dress shabbily. The concubine doesn’t need to be told how to dress because she knows the first way to move the man is through what she wears. One thing she understands and intentionally carries out is the fact that not too many men can resist a woman whose dressing bares it all. That is why she wears skimpy skirts, tight shorts and others. Learn to dress at home to attract your man and even when you are going out, pick your colors well and best (good dressing can be learnt).

A wife waits for him while a concubine requests for him. One striking difference when it comes to love making is while a lot of women wait for their spouse to make his advances, the concubine requests for it. Some women even punish their spouse with sex but the concubine is waiting to compensate him every time you punish him. There is nothing wrong with making sexual advances at your man or sexual passes; it has nothing to do with religion or beliefs. He is your man and there is nothing to be ashamed of. A concubine is always ready and never says No for any reason.

I understand that sometime we are sincerely tired after the days work are there could be times you would have to say No, but wisdom must be applied in doing that. How about saying honey am tired now but I would definitely be ready by morning for you, men appreciate it when you show concern even after saying No. Don’t be blunt that your refusal is interpreted as rejection. Be wise about it and say it remembering you are relating with the King of your heart, prince charming or whatsoever you call him

Love Affair

Being your husbands concubine